Parents: Find your Community and Support System

Why do parents need a support system? And strategies and techniques to help parents develop and flourish in a thriving community ecosystem. 

Anybody who is a parent knows the job is difficult. It can be the most wildly intoxicating experience, where you bubble and ooze with pride, and the next moment it drags you down to depths you did not know existed and rips your heart out. All in one day! Parenting is not for the feint of heart.

Which is why parents need help. No, not self-help books, though they can contain some pearls of wisdom. And definitely not influencers! No, parents need other trusted humans to step in and offer help in the form of a support system.

What exactly is a support system? According to Nationwide Children’s Hospital, “A support system is a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support. Support systems come in many different forms, but they are all built around the idea of love and care.”

Typical support systems are made up of extended family members, co-workers, teachers, doctors, other community professionals, neighbors, and really anyone who cares about your child.

Some parents are blessed to have extended family nearby or a set of close friends that they connect with because they have children of similar ages or in similar activities. But that does not make these people a support system. Unless you use them as such!

What does that mean?

Why build a support system?

As mentioned, parenting is difficult. Perhaps more so now than ever before given all the factors that exist, including social media. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone that you could turn to for advice? Support systems offer way more than just encouraging words.

A support system can combat feelings of isolation. Parenting, especially of young children, can be isolating, so finding a community is important. 

Community can improve mental health and emotional well-being by helping parents develop effective coping strategies and foster empathy. A study in the National Library of Medicine found that parents who perceived themselves as having a healthy support system had children with fewer mental health concerns.

Support can reduce burnout. Parenting is obviously difficult, and relying on others can help share the enormous task of raising children.

The support system can assist with child care. Hello date night!

Having a support system allows you the parent to present as a positive role model. Kids clearly learn from their parents, and if they see you with healthy and positive relationships it will pay dividends with their future relationships.

Support systems expand social connections. By actively seeking a support system parents can expand their social network to others who can offer support and or encouragement.

The community can offer potential diverse viewpoints. If your support system features people of different backgrounds, it can offer opportunities to learn about a variety of parenting techniques.

It can provide an increased sense of self-efficacy. According to SAMHSA, a support system can increase parents’ confidence in their ability to care for their children. Most people want that positive feedback that they are doing the right thing.

Finally, support systems offer additional healthy adult attachments. Thriving children tend to have more supportive adults in their lives than just their parents. These people allow your child to develop and practice establishing appropriate relationships with community members.

How to build a community support system

Now that we convinced you to build a support system, how exactly do you do that, while actively parenting, which is a full time job? Read on to learn how!

Nurture relationships with family and friends. The old saying “if you want a friend, be a friend” has wisdom in its simplicity. Like a garden that must be tended to if it is going to flourish, relationships are the same way. Reach out and connect to maintain ties. Not sure what to say? Ask a simple question: How are you doing? or Do you need anything?

Organize play dates for your kids. Of course parents need to communicate to set up play dates, so slowly and authentically allow these relationships with other families to grow. Perhaps there are carpool opportunities or just a casual Saturday lunch. Find parents that share your values and views on raising kids.

Join online support groups. Yes, social media can be a cesspool of negativity and expose the underbelly of humanity. But if you look carefully enough, there are some good groups gravitating around on sites. Your kids may tell you Facebook is for “old people,” but there are support groups for parents that offer connection, support, and ideas.

Seek professional help. Reaching out to professionals to build your support group is a sign of strength, not weakness. Vitality Medical and Wellness says these individuals may include doctors, therapists, coaches, or mentors in your community. A good support system ought to be varied in its makeup and the right professional can add wisdom and objective information to your decision-making process.

Join school organizations. Most schools have some version of a PTA or Parent Teacher Association. If your time is limited or you have a specific focus in mind, perhaps there are parent groups that support a sports team or drama club that your child participates in. 

Attend local speaker events. Many professional organizations host events when a professional from the community speaks to the public, offering advice and perhaps the latest research on a topic. Engage the Brain is hosting a Community Connections event on Monday, September 15, featuring Alison Slater Tate, a widely known author and expert on the college admissions process. Another event is scheduled for October.

Accept the help. It is one thing to have a thriving support system. It is another to use it and to accept the wisdom or experience or time that is offered. Acknowledge when you need the assistance and take it. That is the point of having a community!

Final thoughts

Have children changed and are they simply more difficult to raise nowadays? Of course not! But the circumstances surrounding the process of parenting are clearly more challenging. From social media issues and keeping up with Jones’ syndrome to mental health concerns, today’s children face obstacles the previous generation of kids did not face. Which all leads to parents needing support. Whether you feel isolated, burnt out, or just need to hear validation that you are doing a good job, building and using a support system offers tremendous rewards to parents.

Engage the Brain encourages families to connect and to support each other, and we are proud to be a source of parenting information for the Central Florida community.