Networking the Art of Forced Friendship and Free Appetizers

You’re definitely not alone. Complaining about networking events is practically a rite of passage. Just this week, I met someone who kicked off our conversation by venting about all the lunches and after-hours gatherings she’d had to endure. The twist? Attending these events is literally part of her job. Talk about occupational hazards!

Now, I get it. At some point, the endless handshakes and small talk start to feel stale, and you begin questioning how you’re spending your time. Maybe you even daydream about a career change where “networking” involves nothing more than chatting with your cat or dog. For her, there wasn’t much choice it’s her job. But for the rest of us, it’s worth asking: Are we destined to endlessly circle the room like networking vultures? Should we attend every event? Shake every hand? Do we need a plan, or do we just wing it and hope for the best?

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years: networking isn’t about making a quick sale. Early in my business development days, I thought it was, and boy, was I wrong. One afternoon, after a soul-crushing string of rejections, I found myself blaming everything the people, the events, the universe itself. But then it hit me during a long drive: the chances of closing a deal in the first 30 seconds of meeting someone is practically zero. Networking isn’t about instant wins; it’s about building something much more fundamental; trust.

So, how do you build trust? For me, it started with a mindset shift. I stopped seeing networking as a sales pitch and began treating it as an opportunity to establish relationships, build partnerships, and maybe even make a few friends. It wasn’t an overnight transformation. In fact, it took me six months just to get to the point where someone invited me to submit a proposal. And three months after that? I landed the account. Trust takes time, but it pays off.

Now, I can’t tell anyone whether to attend every event or skip them altogether. History has shown me that you never know when an opportunity will appear. Case in point: one Saturday morning, my wife told me we had to attend a birthday party that evening. I wasn’t thrilled. I mean, I didn’t even know the people, and it was for one of my daughter’s friends. But guess what? I ended up making one of my biggest connections at that birthday party. Blew my mind!

That said, after years of experience, I’ve become more selective about which events I attend. When I do go, I always have a plan. Whether I aim to walk away with new appointments, potential partners, or even friendships, I know what I’m there for. The hardest part, honestly, is just showing up. But once you do, people start to notice. They see you’re consistent, reliable, and genuinely interested in building relationships. Over time, they begin to trust you, and those connections can open doors to markets, strategic partnerships, and clients.

And here’s the thing: networking is more than just a professional obligation. It’s an investment in yourself and in others. It’s about planting seeds, some of which may take time to grow, but when they do, the rewards can be life changing. The connections you make today might inspire you, challenge you, or support you in ways you never expected.

So, embrace the discomfort, step into the room with confidence, and be open to what could happen. Because you never know, the next handshake might just lead to the opportunity of a lifetime.