Long Distance Caregiving: A Checklist for Holiday Visits

Holidays are a special time for family gatherings, laughter, and shared memories. They also present an opportunity for long-distance caregivers to check in on the well-being of their older loved ones. If you're traveling to see older family members this holiday season, you'll naturally be interested in their health and well­ being. Here are some things to consider during your visit that can help you help them from afar.

What To Watch For During Your Visit

1. Physical health and safety

• Mobility and balance: Take note of any difficulty in standing, walking, or sitting. Are there any new bruises or injuries that could indicate falls?
• Medication management: Check if medications are organized and taken as prescribed. Look for expired medications or multiple prescriptions for the same condition.
• Nutrition and hydration: Observe your loved one's eating habits. Is the refrigerator stocked with fresh, nutritious food? Are they drinking enough water?

2. Home safety and comfort

• Living conditions: Is the home clean and orderly? Check for safety hazards like loose rugs, inadequate lighting, or cluttered walkways
• Adaptive equipment: Make sure any necessary aids, like grab bars in the bathroom, are installed and within easy reach.

3. Mental health and social engagement

• Changes in behavior: Look for signs of withdrawal, sadness, or significant changes in mood and behavior. Is your loved one still interested in hobbies and activities they once enjoyed?
• Social connections: Are they engaging with friends, family, or community activities? Loneliness can be a significant hazard for seniors, affecting both their mental and physical health.

4. Finances

• Mail and bills: Notice if bills are piling up or if there are any disconnection notices. This could be a sign that your older loved one is struggling with managing their finances.

• Address immediate needs: If you notice anything concerning during your visit, discuss it with your loved one and ask them if you can help address the issues before you leave. Remember that your loved one has full agency over their life and home, so it is important to follow their wishes.
• Set up support systems: Consider arranging regular check-ins with a home care agency or setting up meal delivery services.  Technology can also be a great ally. Setting up video calls can help you stay connected and monitor their well-being.
• Leave emergency contacts: Make sure your older loved one has a list of emergency contacts, including neighbors, friends and local family members visibly posted in their home.

After the Holidays: How To Help From Afar

• Plan regular check-ins: Schedule regular phone or video calls to stay connected.  Ask your loved one specific questions about their health, daily activities and social interactions.
• Use technology: Devices like smart pill dispensers can help manage medications, while home monitoring systems can alert them and you to any unusual or suspicious activities.                                                                   
• Coordinate with local helpers: Build relationships with neighbors, nearby friends and, or local relatives who can provide real-time updates and help, when needed.        
• Professional services: Besides hiring in-home care and assistance also consider hiring a geriatric care manager to oversee and coordinate care.  They can be invaluable in navigating complex health care systems and making sure your loved one receives the care they need.                                 

Talking With Other Family Caregivers

For family caregivers holiday gatherings might come with stress or even anger.  “Caregivers may feel resentful   toward other family members who they feel have not offered enough assistance,” notes an article from the Family Caregiver Alliance.  It may be difficult but try to bring up the subject by focusing on your loved one’s needs.  If your loved one has care or financial needs you cannot meet, ask siblings or other family members to research options or provide help. The collaborative goal should be helping your loved one live in their home as long as possible.  

Long distance caregiving comes with unique challenges, especially when balancing it with the demands of your own life. However, with careful planning and the right resources, you can ensure that your older loved one is safe, healthy and engaged, even from afar. Remember, the best gift you can give this holiday season is your love and attention. Make the most of your visit and set up a support system that lasts long after the holiday lights dim.         

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